The Flavors of Friendship

One recent weekend I set out for an overnight stay with my dear friend Nancy. One of many such visits over our years of friendship, it held the guarantee of comfortable familiarity and the certainty of yet another of our food-related pursuits. Cooking together is one of our favorite activities, along with swapping recipes and new foodie discoveries that take us from Brooklyn to the Berkshires. Nancy’s been a creative and accomplished cook for as long as I’ve known her. Her knowledge and appreciation of food inspired my transformation from so-so, occasional cook to confident culinary explorer.
 
Let the Moveable Feast Begin!

Lately, Nancy’s been experimenting with homemade pizza dough. The appetizing photos of her margarita pies piqued my curiosity. I wanted in. Nearly all my previous attempts at making pizza, with store bought dough, produced ripped, overly sticky globs, or dry clumps. The overworked dough was just short of inedible. My friend assured me whipping up the dough from scratch would avoid these failings. I arrived in her kitchen cautiously optimistic.
 
As we get to work, the room becomes part kitchen, part science lab. There’s the digital scale’s precise measuring of yeast and flour. A few microwave zaps get the water to the right temperature. With Nancy’s encouragement, I finally allow my hands to sink into the warm aromatic dough and soon my kneading results in a smooth, rounded specimen. Applause all around! The atmosphere is cozy, convivial, and festive; a delight for the senses, from the already rising dough, to the R&B we sing and dance to. The plum tomatoes’ earthy fragrance, the inquisitive looks from Nancy’s cats, the ring of laughter—whether the final product is worthy of a spread in Bon Appétit is beside the point.
 
Friends, Food, Flavors

Stuck in the usual bumper-to-bumper traffic on my way home Sunday, my thoughts drifted to the sights, sounds and tastes of my weekend. Before long, the images of “flavors” and “friendship” floated around my brain, and I started making associations between the two concepts. Could the six tastes of sweet, salty, spicy, sour, umami, and bitter somehow relate to phases of friendship?
 
As we go through life, we hope to mostly taste the sweet. Like the sweetness found in a friend who is a like-minded soul sharing our interests, who is a steady source of comfort, an unwavering confidante. But what’s life without some salt and spice to add a kick? The inside jokes friends share, the risks we encourage one another to take, the thrill of new adventures—all necessary ingredients for adding pizazz to our palates, for keeping our lives from becoming too mundane. The distinct savory taste of umami is a flavor enhancer. It adds layers, depth. Whose life couldn’t use a little more depth? And, just as in life, there’s no avoiding the sour sometimes. Sourness packs its punch through disagreements and disappointments, chaos, and trauma. The nastiness of spoiled milk comes to mind. We crave a swift return to the sweet; the salty; the spicy.
 
We dream of never tasting any bitterness in life. Likewise with our friendships. Yet surely, we’ve all suffered a death blow to a friendship with an event that fractures the relationship into sharp, irreplaceable fragments. Sometimes, a concrete reason exists. Other times we wonder why a friendship drifted away. Sometimes it’s gradual. Other times, it’s like a switch abruptly snapped to the off position. Unable to pinpoint a definitive reason for the break, it’s difficult to avoid a bitter aftertaste.

Meals and Moments

At the risk of overthinking or becoming too philosophical, I’ll leave off with a few observations. To yield the most satisfying experience, friendship and cooking need tending and being present in the moment. It helps to have quality ingredients, a willingness to savor the taste of unfamiliar ventures, and the enthusiasm to grow. Engage all the senses. Share meals often. Food and Life taste twice as delicious when enjoyed with those we love. And just as comfort food soothes our souls, so does the comfort of enduring friendship.
 
I’m thrilled to report our homemade pizzas were a scrumptious success! I knew Nancy’s would be. For me, here’s another culinary addition to my menu. Next up? Nineteen recipes for Lovable Loaf Cakes from Epicurious. Buon appetito!